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À MES YEUX DISTENDUS

Journal tenu quotidiennement du 23 mai 2008 au 23 mai 2009.

2008 - 2009
367 dessins
Encre, gommettes et feutre sur papier
L 13 x H 20,8 cm

" Au fur qu’il s’absorbait, scrutant son tapis, il y voyait surgir cinq, six, vingt, vingt-six combinaisons, brouillons fascinants mais sans poids, lapsus inconsistants, obscurs portraits qu’il ordonnait sans fin, y traquant l’apparition d’un signal plus sûr, d’un signal global dont il aurait aussitôt saisi la signification ; un signal qui l’aurait satisfait, alors qu’il voyait, parcours aux maillons incongrus, tout un tas d’imparfaits croquis, dont chacun, aurait-on dit, contribuait à ourdir, à bâtir la configuration d’un croquis initial qu’il simulait, qu’il calquait, qu’il approchait mais qu’il taisait toujours :
un mort, un voyou, un auto-portrait ;
un bouvillon, un faucon niais, un oisillon couvant son nid ;
un nodus rhumatismal;
un souhait ;
ou l’iris malin d’un cachaIot colossal, narguant Jonas, clouant Cam, fascinant Achab : avatars d’un noyau vital dont la divulgation s’affirmait tabou, substituts ambigus tournant sans fin autour d’un savoir, d’un pouvoir aboli qui n’apparaîtrait plus jamais, mais qu’à jamais, s’abrutissant, il voudrait voir surgir.
Il s’irritait. La vision du tapis lui causait un mal troublant. Sous l’amas d’illusions qu’à tout instant son imagination lui dictait, il croyait voir saillir un point nodal, un noyau inconnu qu’il touchait du doigt mais qui toujours lui manquait à l’instant où il allait y aboutir.
Il continuait. Il s’obstinait. Fascination dont il n’arrivait pas à s’affranchir. On aurait dit qu’au plus profond du tapis, un fil tramait l’obscur point Alpha, miroir du Grand Tout offrant à foison l’Infini du Cosmos, point primordial d’où surgirait soudain un panorama total, trou abyssal au rayon nul, champ inconnu dont il traçait l’inouï littoral, dont il suivait l’insinuant contour, tourbillon, hauts murs, prison, paroi qu’il parcourait sans jamais la franchir... "
La disparition, Georges Pérec

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